I needed to write this down... Here are my top nine favorite movies:
Pulp Fiction, Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, Top Gun, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, Mean Girls, Sleeping Beauty, Mallrats, The Little Mermaid, Inglourious Basterds
March 4, 2011
March 2, 2011
Jamiah Drive
Well that time in a persons life has come, when their parents sell their childhood home. My parents are seriously considering moving to Henderson, Nevada within the year. I knew this day would come. They love Utah as much as I do. But I just can't comprehend never going "home" or never turning onto Jamiah Drive again. I have an emotional attachment to that house.
We've lived there as a family since I was 11. September 1997. Pretty much all of my major life achievements have happened at that house or at least were celebrated there. I can't imagine never walking into my room again. I spent countless hours there. It was my hideaway from the rest of the world. I loved everything about that room, even the pink carpet.
I guess it's just a part of growing up that I'm not prepared for. I didn't think the house would have such an impact on my life. I just hope that another family buys it and treats it with all the love and kindness we did. I find a little solace in the fact that brand new memories will be made there.
We've lived there as a family since I was 11. September 1997. Pretty much all of my major life achievements have happened at that house or at least were celebrated there. I can't imagine never walking into my room again. I spent countless hours there. It was my hideaway from the rest of the world. I loved everything about that room, even the pink carpet.
I guess it's just a part of growing up that I'm not prepared for. I didn't think the house would have such an impact on my life. I just hope that another family buys it and treats it with all the love and kindness we did. I find a little solace in the fact that brand new memories will be made there.
April 2, 2010
update...
Sorry for the change in viewing. Most of you know that I don't really have a relationship with my grandmother (she isn't a nice/good person). Well I found out that she was reading my blog and I just can't have that. I really hate saying this, I'm not sure if I'll regret it later, but I'm trying to cut her out of my life. I've given her plenty chances over the last 24 years to change. Every time it comes back to bite me in the butt. I'm sick of being hurt. Family is so important to me. I hate that it's come down to this but for my health it's not worth it.
Ok. Enough.
FLORIDA. Could I be any happier? I leave Utah on May 5. My mom and possibly my childhood friend Tiffany are driving the U-Haul with me. I'm moving everything. If Tiff does join it's going to be a tight ride but it will ease the friction with mom. I finally have an apartment in place. I'll be leaving by myself. Which I'm happy about. I do wish that I was able to live with Laura. Long story there. I'll be in Celebration. Celebration is the town that Disney built. It's so adorable.
School. Blah. I'm ready for this semester to be over with. I'm officially enrolled at NAU. I'm taking two classes summer semester.
Disney. I'm still waiting to hear back about Professional Internships. Any day now I should hear something.
Ok. Enough.
FLORIDA. Could I be any happier? I leave Utah on May 5. My mom and possibly my childhood friend Tiffany are driving the U-Haul with me. I'm moving everything. If Tiff does join it's going to be a tight ride but it will ease the friction with mom. I finally have an apartment in place. I'll be leaving by myself. Which I'm happy about. I do wish that I was able to live with Laura. Long story there. I'll be in Celebration. Celebration is the town that Disney built. It's so adorable.
School. Blah. I'm ready for this semester to be over with. I'm officially enrolled at NAU. I'm taking two classes summer semester.
Disney. I'm still waiting to hear back about Professional Internships. Any day now I should hear something.
February 23, 2010
Communication
*Once again this can be viewed as passive aggressive
Ok. Alright. Let's go. I don't even know where to begin. I have so much going on in my head right now, it just might explode.
First, I've been having these fantastic dreams that Cody is still alive. He's been hiding out in his grandma's basement for the past year hanging out with his cousins. When I get there I'm so excited. We play Barbie video games together but I'm so pissed at Chad because he knew the entire time that he really wasn't dead and he never told me. Then I wake up. I'm so happy and excited (angry at Chad) that Cody is alive. I believe it. Once it hits me that it was just a dream, I try to go back to bed even though I know if I manage to fall asleep I won't return to that dream. So this dream is sort of like my dream that he was just in Spain. I love seeing him in dreams but I wish I would wake up happy because I saw him, not happy because I think he really is alive.
I've been thinking a lot lately about moving (as if you couldn't tell). I'm getting organized, blah blah blah. I've been thinking about my relationships in Utah. You can tell from my last blog that I'm having a hard time with certain "relationships"... Starting now I'm going to focus energy on the people I know that want to spend time with me. I've been taking some of these people for granted lately. I really I hope they know who they are. My depression as been a little bitch for the past three months and I haven't wanted any company beside my own so I've pushed some people away. Some of those people have went off and forgotten about me, which I don't hold against them. If I had to put up with moody Jacqueline, I'd probably walk away too. But it's those damn people I can't shake who I know are my real friends. I need to focus my attention on them. They will be able to withstand the 2,500 miles that will be between us in 72 days.
Next. I need to work on communication. Personal communication. I need to express my feeling towards others. Others that are my friends. I have such a hard time with that. I let stuff build up. Then it blows up. Which is bad! I say and tell myself I don't care what my friends (others) think of me but I really do. I think too much. Too much that I live my life for others. I think about what so and so would say about my opinion (action, feelings). I hate myself for thinking that way. I should care what others think of me but not so it cripples me. I've lost a lot of close friends in my lifetime which I believe has caused a fear of loss...
Thanks for reading. I promise the next blog will be a happy one. No venting!
Ok. Alright. Let's go. I don't even know where to begin. I have so much going on in my head right now, it just might explode.
First, I've been having these fantastic dreams that Cody is still alive. He's been hiding out in his grandma's basement for the past year hanging out with his cousins. When I get there I'm so excited. We play Barbie video games together but I'm so pissed at Chad because he knew the entire time that he really wasn't dead and he never told me. Then I wake up. I'm so happy and excited (angry at Chad) that Cody is alive. I believe it. Once it hits me that it was just a dream, I try to go back to bed even though I know if I manage to fall asleep I won't return to that dream. So this dream is sort of like my dream that he was just in Spain. I love seeing him in dreams but I wish I would wake up happy because I saw him, not happy because I think he really is alive.
I've been thinking a lot lately about moving (as if you couldn't tell). I'm getting organized, blah blah blah. I've been thinking about my relationships in Utah. You can tell from my last blog that I'm having a hard time with certain "relationships"... Starting now I'm going to focus energy on the people I know that want to spend time with me. I've been taking some of these people for granted lately. I really I hope they know who they are. My depression as been a little bitch for the past three months and I haven't wanted any company beside my own so I've pushed some people away. Some of those people have went off and forgotten about me, which I don't hold against them. If I had to put up with moody Jacqueline, I'd probably walk away too. But it's those damn people I can't shake who I know are my real friends. I need to focus my attention on them. They will be able to withstand the 2,500 miles that will be between us in 72 days.
Next. I need to work on communication. Personal communication. I need to express my feeling towards others. Others that are my friends. I have such a hard time with that. I let stuff build up. Then it blows up. Which is bad! I say and tell myself I don't care what my friends (others) think of me but I really do. I think too much. Too much that I live my life for others. I think about what so and so would say about my opinion (action, feelings). I hate myself for thinking that way. I should care what others think of me but not so it cripples me. I've lost a lot of close friends in my lifetime which I believe has caused a fear of loss...
Thanks for reading. I promise the next blog will be a happy one. No venting!
November 22, 2009
Happy Birthday Cody
Happy birthday Cody Sam Shafer, I miss you so incredibly much. I love you. I'm still angry but not so much at you. I miss you, my favorite of my three C's. Chad and Craig just aren't as funny or pretty. I hope you've found happiness. You'll always be in my heart. I miss our trips to Evanston so very much.
November 10, 2009
Moving sooner?
I might be able to move sooner than August. Like May!!! I'm hoping to get another professional internship. In either college recruiting or operations management. If I get said internship I would be able to take the two classes I need online. I would love to move in May. I'd love to move in November. But good things come to those who wait.
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